West Elm Drum Coffee Table – Good afternoon. Today I’d like to talk to you about an affliction that many of us today face, but which remains relatively unknown: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, better known as ADHD. You’ve probably heard bad mothers coming out of school to pick on another kid’s kid (because insufferable kids don’t have a dad, you know), saying, “He’s a real little jerk! “. As a kind soul passed by, she kindly replied, “No! He’s hyper! However, a 2011 study (Lecendreux et al., 2011) found that among children aged 6 to 12 in France, only 3.5% have ADHD The rest are little jerks So the statistics are not favorable for little Martin.
But the problem I wanted to draw your attention to is that 60% of children with ADHD do not have symptoms in adulthood (according to DSM IV-R, 2000). However, if we love children, even if they are not our own, we can forgive them their mischief, their carelessness, their impulsiveness, in short, all the things that usually make us hate children. But observing these symptoms in an adult is a completely different matter.
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One of the characteristic symptoms of ADHD is the so-called hyperkinesis or, as my grandmother used to say, “restlessness.” If we tolerate a naughty child running around, getting up from the table 100 times under dubious excuses like “I’m tired of sitting” or playing around the house with a bouncing ball, this hyperkinesis is much less acceptable. . For example, I struggled to explain why and how I broke the coffee table when I climbed on it. Why step on the coffee table? how? What force majeure required me to climb it? How can a coffee table of this price not withstand 46 kg of pressure? I have no answer. I talked on the phone, sat on the couch for a good 2 minutes, and when I got up, I wanted to light a candle, and I started an interesting conversation. The shortest path between me and the candle was through the coffee table. So I climbed onto the coffee table. Keska? During the accident, the phone was shaking a bit when I cut off my girlfriend who was telling me about a discussion with her boyfriend (“accident”, “discussion”… that’s a lot of euphemisms in one sentence).
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And the coffee table episode is over. The guy said “banco” and so my full attention was focused on this incredible news. Until the next morning, when I had to explain myself to the co-owner of the coffee table, whose patience and courage to live with me I welcome every day. Because if there was only a coffee table…
“Mom, it’s football time. Shall we go to football? We are going to football! We go fuuuuuuu!! Mom, are we going to the football?!? »
If one parent has ADHD, there is a 57% risk that their child will also develop it (J. Biederman et al. – 1995).
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– “Mom, don’t forget your football certificate. Football, football football. You don’t forget, do you? Otherwise I can’t play. You forgot your ID, huh? »
All my attention is focused on this bloody medical certificate, which I obtained with great difficulty at the cost of three appointments with the doctor, who the first time did not sign it, the second time he let me go without it, and the third time he told me: “If you have no head… ha ha!” “.
I put my shoes on to accompany my kid to his extracurricular activity, which if you got it right is SOCCER. And all my mental faculties are suddenly diverted to the fact that:
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“I still haven’t received a call from the delivery man for a new dishwasher, how sad it is to live without a dishwasher, how is grandma?” She did not work. She made it. Basically, his duty was to wash the dishes. It’s still sad. We never talked about the status of women, she and I. Too bad, I’d like to know his opinion on the subject.
I’m in front of the soccer field, on time, without ID, with a Nutella-snapping son.
If, while reading this text, you are not thinking about what you were doing on July 12, 1998, then you
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While writing this text: I got up 4 times to get another cup of tea, the third time I had to warm it up a little in the microwave, so I started doing a little washing in the meantime and forgot the cup in the microwave suddenly got too hot, so I said ” shit”, I blew on the tea, I splashed, some tea fell on the floor, and I thought to myself that the cooking was really disgusting, and it was largely in those waters that I forgot about, wrote the text. Wiping the tea on the floor, I got up to go back to the dishes and, after washing two glasses, remembered that I was writing a text. I sat down at my desk, I wrote a little. The green light from the phone flashed to my left. But I stayed focused no matter what. After a good 37 seconds, unable to take it anymore, I checked my Messenger messages. One thing after another, I stalked a guy, I clicked on a link to a yellow vest protest and a few minutes later I wanted to start a new environmental political party and I forgot my text again. I went to make myself some coffee, which was very hot, so I blew on it. A feeling of déjà vu. I realized again that I forgot my text again.